Meditating with my dad



When I was growing up, in the morning my dad would meditate. As an adult I know I should clarify: he performed this particular "meditation", or exercise, or... I'm inclined to say "devotion". When I came of age and I was curious enough, I would sit with him for the beginning: "Auuuummmmmmmmmm". Then I would laugh and run away, and decide that my dad's word may be "Aummm" but my word is "Chah-kunnnngggg". Later, perhaps around 1984 after the divorce was put into process and I'd visit dad on weekends, and my ability to sit still on occasion began to develop, at the age of five, up in Sierra Madre Canyon, 81 Vista Circle Dr, in the master bedroom, at the window in the southwest corner of the room, facing westward out the window toward the back yard and the view of the canyon from up there, we would sit - he in front, me behind. The old Chinese dresser to our left, his bed (mattress on floor) to our right - the restroom behind us. He would light a stick of incense and stick it into the dirt or small rocks in a bowl of some kind there on the dresser, then we would sit facing the small table on which I think there might have been a black egg (12-16-12: I think actually I'd seen the black egg on that table astrally once), and some other things. With legs crossed at the shin-ankle area, hands together, folded, or however was comfortable and natural, we sat upright, breathing deeply.


Then: "Aaaaauuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm" (inhale) "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh" (inhale) "Hommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" (pause..... inhale) "Aaaaauuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm" (inhale) "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh" (inhale) "Hommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" (pause..... inhale) "Aaaaauuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm" (inhale) "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh" (inhale) "Hommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" (pause....)

Then, making the sound "shhh" with the inhale..... exhaling (while clenching the buttocks (Kegels, more like - 9-19-13) (perineum - 2-10-14) slightly and gently allowing the root to awaken and the energy to move up the back, making the hair stand on end) "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" (relaxing the buttocks... ) again making the sound "shhh" with the inhale..... exhaling (while clenching the buttocks and gently allowing the root to awaken and the energy to move up the back, making the hair stand on end) "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" (relaxing the buttocks...) making the sound "shhh" with the inhale..... exhaling (while clenching the buttocks and gently allowing the root to awaken and the energy to move up the back, making the hair stand on end) "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" (relaxing the buttocks)

Then we would purposefully, quick-ishly but not crazyfast move the hands together in front of the chest vertically in opposite directions, up and down then reversing... you know... causing friction and energy to heat and energize the hands. Then, I believe it was left hand first then right on top of it, with the palms on top of the furnace point three finger widths below the navel, providing golden light from the palms to the gnomes and critters in there working around the golden furnace heated by the root chakra, then inhaling and vibrating: "oooowwwiinnnnnnnnnnnn" then again.... then again.

Then we would return our hands to their relax folded or however position, raising our consciousness up above the navel to the lower solar plexus and connect there with a light golden yellow white light, and vibrate "ooooooooooohhhh" "ooooooooooooohhh" "ooooooooooooooohhhh"

Then raising up to the chest, and light everywhere, all around as far as we could see out into the known universe and the astral plane, all emenating from the chest, vibrating "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...."

Then bringing it up to the throat... and "Hunnnnngggggggggg" "Hunnnnngggggggggg" "Hunnnnngggggggggg"

Then holding the Dorje with the middle and third finger, pointing forward from the brow at the Third Eye, about an inch in front of the head, with the index and pinky up like an I love you in sign language, and a higher pitched "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......." then while and/or after (12-16-12: or before) vibrating, making the prolonged bell sound with the wooden stick in front of the third eye, and eventually shaking it, ending the tone with a bang.... not too much, you don't want to burn your third eye out and give yourself a headache, just enough to keep it alive, so the dust wont collect on it at puberty causing it to close forever, as it does with so many in Western Civilization today. Then we'd put the dorje down.

Then ringing the prolonged tone above the crown, above the head, and setting the bell down and returning to hands folded, with a final 3 Aums for the crown.

Then he said some stuff, and I don't remember it, except that it included "Thy Will Be Done" emphasized, which said memory was always triggered later when I would on hear the Christian "Our Father" prayer. But the part I do remember is the very end:

To the North and to the South,
to the East and to the West,
to the Spirits of Light among us,
and the spirits below,
we send out our reverent Love and Compassion.
May All Beings be Happy.
May All Beings be Serene.
May All Beings Be in Peace.


(6-8-13: at the end there were three "Aums") Then he would clap in a way which the hands were cupped, so there was some air between there making the clap deep, and that was the end. All that was left was to turn the stick incense over and put it out.

Then we would start our day.

Today I led this excercise for my wife, and afterward we performed our Golden Dawn work - Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram with Latin Analysis of the Keyword with a Byzantine vibratory style beforehand, and a regular Middle Pillar Ritual (with the addition of Chockma's "Ya" at the Third Eye), substituting the Oh Heavenly King prayer rather than the usual Golden Dawn one beforehand. The G.D. work after was her idea, as lately I've been sticking to what my dad taught me. But, you know, I'd always wanted to combine the two in that particular way. We even did stretching and Hatha Yoga before the Tantric Yoga meditation. It was quite a thing and I'm glad we did it.

I guess I'm writing to share with whoever checks the Pymander blog, and incase it inspires you to some practice, or even to try this one if you want to, or something like it. We who get into this stuff always seem to bring a brand new interpretation and manifestion to it all, which then changes in certain ways over time, even if the practices stay the same. Like snowflakes.

(12-16-12: he had two bells, one larger with a lower pitch, one smaller with a higher pitch, and he would ring them, intuitively, between "hom" and "aum" in the beginning, and at various points, but at the third eye using the higher pitched one, prolonging the tone by slowly moving the stick around the circumference of the bell)

I'm also writing to those future generations who might discover this. After my dad died and it had been a long time since we'd meditated, I'd forgotten the way we did it, until I met another student of Andrew Da Passano's and had the gaps filled in for me. It's interesting to approach this after having focused a great deal on the sort of opposite idea of meditation: Zazen - in which practice, it is said (by Dogen) no hocus pocusy occult type mantras or any of that are found to be useful, only the sitting; observing with all the senses. I don't know, though... I think some of the early Chinese Zen types probably used that ol' "Western Heavens" stuff.

All for now,
Much love,


Post Script: Even before that, my dad, and to a certain extent my mom, would advise me that there are two types of people in the world: People that are okay, and "normals". Grandma and Grandpa were "normals", as were my teachers at school, the other nursery schoolers or students, and pretty much anyone that I didn't recognize from any séances they'd host, or whatever, and that even some of them were iffy. So, I wasn't to talk to "normals" about meditation, astral projection, tarot cards, the "space" method they'd picked up at EST, or any other thing that was interesting.

Though, as an adult, I'm more inclined to just be weird openly, and to say to any "normals" who may be peeking, in solidarity with my gay friends, though I myself am 85% heterosexual: "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Used To It!"



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