Conversations with Andrew Da Passano: "Awareness"
(the white bold font is Andrew, the grey italics the students at his house in Hollywood Hills that night)
Just to find out: who has something to tell me about the work of these weeks? You have something. OK. Start this way, then. Tell me.
After focusing very hard on dropping the saliva into the Chi, and then bringing it up to the pineal gland, I can't sustain intense pineal gland meditation. I mean after about ten minutes of that it gets almost unbearable, yet during that time of focus, I'm able to get more and more to a point of an unwavering emphasis and focus on the pineal gland, and even though for just a few minutes when I'm done with that I have an immense feeling of satisfaction.
Do not bring it back to the pineal gland.
You said last week After you ...
No. Leave it there. It will go by itself, when the golden light will blend with the white light. But this is far from being the moment. And it must not be pushed. This is a very delicate operation; let things go as you create the energies and you direct them, go very slowly in order that nothing might happen there. We shall add something to the exercise which we always do which will be very easy to add. We have to go very slowly. What can you tell me?
I noticed this week especially that doing this circulation exercise the sexual tension has increased immensely. Really a lot.
Increased immensely. It is extremely powerful, but realize that if you have to create subtle bodies that are not to be destroyed, that can overtake your life instead of dragging around this one, if we expect to modify the relation between the distances that separate the atoms, we've got to do it with a powerful input. This is the energy. Of course we humans feel it at the point of entry; that is, the sexual organs. Because from there the 'birth' happens, the child is born, and we now are constructing all the other bodies call them like that which are, after all, fields of energy at different grades of cohesion. Now in your case, for instance, you don't have to push these things. All the energy will go to the baby anyway. Because the baby will develop beautifully with all this. But do not push. In kundalini, you can still carry one, but do not push. If there are difficulties, let go. You're in a very very razor's edge situation. For a little while. Once it's finished, it's finished. OK. Someone else?
Also I wanted to say, um, I have a lot of trouble staying here at the pineal gland while I'm doing the circulation exercise. I feel the necessity to carry my presence with the circulating energy. To take it where it's going.
Well, you must take it where it's going with the thought that that does not avoid you as you come up every time focus on the pineal gland. Be present at the pineal gland.
Look, when you drive, you do many things of that order. You drive your car, you can keep an eye on the watch, you can keep an eye on the signal and all this functions. It's a question of habit. So that's why I'm going very slowly. That's why we started with the saliva when nothing was happening, because at least you get into the habit of swallowing it that way. Now, the swallowing the saliva. and keeping the tongue curled as often as we can which is not a thing that we do, but we shall try to be aware. If you are aware you can do these things. It's when you are taken up by life, when the five thieves of the Chinese which are the five senses steal our attention and our energy, then we forget, we forget, we forget. You see? And, by forgetting, we lose energy. So it is a pity to make such efforts to keep the energy circulating, and at the same time evaporating it through the senses through useless, childish talk, and through things like that. OK. So just keep an eye on it. Anybody else have anything to tell me about these exercises?
I haven't noticed anything visually.
It's too early. Too early.
But something I did notice is that on a couple of occasions the saliva did develop a very sweet taste.
Well then it might be transmuting itself into the how do you call it? The nectar. So, for the time being, keep an eye on everything that is happening. Don't jump to any conclusions. You see? So that's OK. Anybody else have something to say? Yes, my friend?
Andrew, the sexual energy, when one becomes conscious of it ...
Where does that energy come from? Is one drawing it from outside? Or drawing it from the Earth? Drawing it from ...?
Yes. We are drawing it from all around. Do not forget, please, that we are only energy ourselves. The fact that you see yourself as a solid being is the limitation of the senses. You see? Other people and other animals constructed in the same way see you as a solid being. Other beings on the other levels see you in a different way. So, as we are only a field of energy; there is no problem where we absorb it from. We just absorb it; like if you take a dry sponge, and you bring it in a Turkish bath, and you just put it there on the seat, it'll fill itself with humidity in a few minutes. It is a let's call it a 'compensation.' A situation of compensation. Now, when we use our energy that way, we recycle it. A lot of our own energy is recycled, and we feel it, while generally we just waste it away. And we have to count on food and of course on all the rest as we are breathing as usual to keep it going. So, what you are doing now, you are not getting any richer you are spending less. You see? There is an enormous difference, but there is one point: as you spend less, at the same time you accumulate more through these exercises. Therefore you become slightly richer and you may have the impression that you have accumulated a capital because you don't let it go anymore. You see? So. Anybody else has anything to tell me meanwhile? Yes, dear?
Twice this has happened and I don't understand. It's like once my house is about twenty feet high above the ground, and the gardener who does the con-dominium was down below and had a green shirt on and in this flash, I saw him but I couldn't have seen him. It was, like, eight feet above, where he's above the ground ...
I don't understand.
And I saw his green shirt, but I couldn't have really seen him. And then another time there was a cat going around the corner and in this flash I saw it, but I saw this cat about eight feet above the ground and he couldn't have been that way. And it happened twice. It's like this flash where I see that. Is that part of this?
Everything is part of the development. My God! There is no law. Whatever you might see is your own affair. Nobody in the world can tell you what it is. It is generally nothing at all. But as you develop a vision with the third eye, you are bound to see things happening. What are they going to be, I have no idea. Whether you see the Virgin Mary or you see Godzilla or you see Captain Nemo with the submarine in your garden I couldn't tell you anything.
You saw that? Good! That's your experience, not mine. You see? It is childish to come and say "What is it?" What is it? It's astral vision. It is extension of perception. It is anything you want. As I tell you: we are limited to the skin in which we live and it is time to expand. 'Expand' means perception. You will perceive other things, now you will probably perceive things before they happen. That's OK! Why? Because it is, as you know, a pyramidal affair, and so, what happens at a given level is projected to fall here, but if you're half way up, you find it before it jells. So you might see things happen before. Not that they're not going to happen. They're going to happen, but they'll happen later. Because the time bracket is completely different. But we are still in a world where we are between our perceptions and other perceptions.
This is what I meant in the beginning of the classes when I tell you: the Initiate lives in chaos with the greatest of ease. Now, chaos is where everything is in process of manifestation. So, my God, it is quite a complexity. But if you know that what you are perceiving is produced by your expansion you say: "Ahhh! I am perceiving this. This is interesting and it's fine. Is it real?" What is real? This reality? It's just as absurd as the other. Or just as real and just as logical.
So expect many things to happen: sounds to appear, whatever. When the third eye begins to work, before it settles down to a level where you can have if not a logical, a comprehensible, if you prefer, a COHERENT way of putting these things more or less together you are bound to have this phenomenology. Because when we see flashes: so what? Flashes are also a manifestation. Or you might see a cat. It's just as good as a flash. You saw his astral above the earth because you were in that space. You are breaking barriers.
I guess I thought of an astral being closer to the entity. This was so far ... I thought ...
Because you are trying to apply logical reasoning to something which has no logic at all!
This is why it is so dangerous for people without a preparation. Because they are not braced for it. You see? Everything shakes them. Everything frightens them. Like people who try to go out at night. Then they are afraid and people tell me: "Why do I not go?" Because you don't WANT to go. Because you are scared stiff to go. Because as soon as you hear a noise or you feel something or something else happens in your room, they get scared. Therefore there is no possibility to do it.
When you watch the divers for the Olympics, the first day you bring a young lady or whoever at this height, they just can't jump! He will face the ridicule of a crowd, and he'll go down with the stairs. Or he'll just close his eyes and jump down with his feet. And that's not pleasant, either.
We are at the same stage. We must be able to face these things if we want to go ahead. Always: "What can happen?" Well, what can happen? I don't know, but whatever happens, you're not going to be thrown out of the continuum because something happened. Even if instead of being what you are you're going to be something else, it's going to be a lighter world and more pleasant situations, because it's difficult to find anything worse than this. Because you can never know what's going to happen in ten minutes.
That's why it's unpleasant, because it's a constant trick, you see. People lose their sons, their children, their father, their mother, they lose business, they have their accidents this is an unpleasant situation in the sense that it's absolutely unpredictable.
Anything can go, anything can happen. It's unimportant. I'm insisting on this my friends. Because if we want to do it, we've got to be able to face anything. When Columbus went out there, any sailor would have told him: "We might run into a terrible storm!" Well, that's part of the game. "We might drown!" Quite possible. Otherwise he'd have never got anywhere. Because he might have said: "Yes. By the way, yes, I didn't think about it. Well we better try it next year." We can't do that.
So, do not be afraid, because fear first of all there's fear of the Unknown. We are always afraid of the unknown. Why do you think death scares people? Because they don't know where they're going. It's the only reason. If they knew, they might be sad or gay, or frustrated, or angry. But they wouldn't be scared.
I think I wasn't as scared as I thought it was so strange. And you know it picked up images that we think things are going to be like.
Yes, of course.
And then it wasn't anything like that.
That's the whole process. That's exactly what we pick up. Now, remember my words: We construct our paradises or Nirvanas with what? With the stones we pick up in the cemeteries. And of course everything that will happen is going to be different. Constantly! Because if not, it isn't happening. You're still here. OK, anybody else? Nothing to tell me about these exercises? Any difficulties? Nothing else? OK.
In our work, what is so important is the way we try to create our new life style. Remember that at the beginning I told you that we are now doing physical exercises to permit the body to accelerate the necessary energy fields, because accelerated energy fields are more subtle. Slow energy vibrations are just .. we sit. And, as we accelerate, then the energy becomes more subtle.
On one side, we are going to do the best we can to accelerate the vibration of the physical body. For what reason? For the same reason that when a person tries to make a tunnel through a mountain he generally tries to get the other guy to start digging and he starts digging, too. Because if he did it all by himself, it would take him twice as long.
We are trying to move the physical body into a level of vibration which would be a little bit in consonance in symphony with the level that we are bringing from above. Because at a certain moment, when both are at the same point, then we have the famous birth of the divine child.
Remember that we spoke a long time ago of the Trinity. This Trinity is that we want to manifest the highest form of service through the message, through desire to give the message, and through the capacity. You see? That is why the salute. They know, of course the Sufis know, the others just salute because they've been taught to do that, like the military salute, one way or another so this is the message: My desire to give the form of the bread of life, and the light that forms the bread of life. So, this is what we are working with. Later on, of course, everything works by affinity. So as soon as we are attuned to the affinity of higher levels, immediately we shall contact higher levels. Remember enlightenment is becoming light.
The more our frequencies rise, the more they become celestial. And if they become celestial, finally to the point where all this vanishes and we remain at the celestial level. You see what I mean? So, the way is clear. Where is the problem?
One of the problems is constance, awareness because, without awareness, there can be no constance. If I constantly forget then I shall constantly not do it. I shall be constantly missing the point. Therefore awareness is important. The commodity of keeping your tongue curled shall vanish in three weeks, you know. Because we can get used to anything. So, at least by keeping your tongue curled, you'll shut up. Which will be a lot of gain, for, as you're working it up this way, you're not going to go out. That's fine, because then you don't let the eyes steal, the ears steal.
This is one direction. The other is to realize think about it being aware. I am not this condensed sort of hamburger that I look like. But there is much more to me. And it is now beginning to be present to my consciousness that I am in a period of transmutation. Therefore, though I might seem condensed, the way I am constructed already permits me to accept rationally that everything is possible. Because I can rationally understand it. This is why I always insist on the necessity that any expansion of consciousness, if it is not understood, is lost.
Supposing a person that in some meditation or other, or at the moment of going to sleep, feels that her body is changing shapes becoming big or square or something well, if that person does not understand the way the body is constructed, then that person may be terrorized, and say "What's happening to me?" Nothing. Really, there is always the possibility of entering with the body in another dimension and coming back. That also is possible. But let's not, by misunderstanding, stop the possibility of such a wonderful thing happening. So we must always be aware. And when this happens, we'll say, "Oh wow! I'm stretching out; I'm taking another shape." Well, that's wonderful. There's an experience coming, because the astral can stretch from here to the moon absolutely with the greatest of ease. And it can become as small as a microbe.
What keeps it that way is that it is constantly surrounding the elements of the construction. Now, the cells: the cells are composed they are like small electric batteries; they have two polarities. And, therefore, they have their astral around it, which keeps them doing their job, because it gives them the emotions. How many times I said: remember that leucocytes jump on microbes like a cat jumps on a mouse. But, to do that, it must have an impulse. Otherwise, it will just look at the microbe and let it go. Cats don't do that with mice. And leucocytes don't do that with microbes. So, probably, in the famous AIDS diseases, and all these sort of diseases of a reduction of the protection syndrome, these things happen. The leucocytes get sort of apathetic and they don't give a damn anymore. So, while we are in good health, we must realize that our cells are like little electric batteries. But they are really a small whirlpool or whirlwind if you want of energy. Nothing else. So we can perfectly well stretch and go and come. The more we begin to realize that this is possible, that we don't have to remain at all the way we are, the easier it will happen.
Because, as I always always! At least a good time I have been telling you: we are in this world the way it is because we WILL it to be like that. We WANT this world to be like that. We WANT this to be solid. When it shakes we are terrorized. Even if we are in a field and nothing can fall on us, the feeling of the earth because we accept it on a boat, hoping that soon we shall be on earth, which is, Thank God, solid this starts moving, then the terror becomes limitless, because we can't fly. Birds don't care. It sways a little bit, they just fly off.
We don't. This is our security. We WANT this to be like that. We want our walls to be solid, because I'd rather be locked in than have somebody come in here with a knife and kill me. So, I want things to be solid. I NEED things to be difficult, in order to be able to handle them in my own way and create the differences of social classes and possessions. All this is WILLED by us. Our world is willed by the instincts, by the genes and chromosomes, by fear, by superstition and by ignorance.
Liberation means getting rid of all that!
And lastly, in classes of this order, just say "Well, I have, through my senses, that have been constructed through thousands and thousands of years, still I am now perceiving the world as it is. But I can understand that as I change, the instruments will change. If my condensation is modified, the instruments through which I translate stimuli let’s get doubt back again the instruments, not through which I see Reality (That's for fools) the instruments through which I translate in this given way the stimuli which come from outside, will be modified. Is that clear, or it is not?
Therefore, I am bound to see another world, because I am bound to perceive other things. And as my sensation expands, then the physical body will follow. Why? First of all because we are giving it these exercises of energy. Secondly, it is accelerating its vibration rate. Therefore we are more in contact with higher vibration. Therefore we are growing out of this limitation, willed by fear. I told you at the beginning of the classes: the human eye has been built by humans because of the fear of the void. If we could not see the world as it is, if we could for an instant go through it, transparently, and see the void, we would be terrorized. So, we will it immediately to be oh! SOLID. This and that and colorful, and warm, and quiet. We will it because we are afraid.
So, for the time being, don't worry, it ain't gonna change. There it is. But, there are sort of brushes, outgoing situations, like the one you had, like another one might have, like everybody will have, and at this moment, instead of being scared, be exultant. Say "Wow! It's breaking through finally; things are happening!"
This is not a philosophical class. If you go to the Philosophical Research Society, you can sit there until your ass is square for fifty years nothing will ever happen. Oh, they will show you books in which it is related that something has happened to other people. But that's as far as you will go. Generally, people are satisfied with that. Like the good Christian who said, "The saints see the Lord. Well, I can't see the Lord, of course. But anyway I can get in contact with the saint and maybe he'll help me." That's the situation. We are not in that situation . Here, in this sort of cyclotron, in this sort of powerhouse where we are , things are growing in us. We grow, we extend, we explode, we stretch out, God knows what we do, but we are on the move. And that's the most important thing. Because it isn't that you are going to get out of your body and land somewhere. It is just simply that you are going to blend into whatever there is. And you will become it and it will become you, as everything that we have, you see?
The exercises that I give you are exercises to bring up the vibration, and, at the same time, they are some logical advice. It is now time for you to start sidestepping your life. I'll explain what I mean by that. It's an image. Supposing: me. I'm "Andrew". OK. And I have my problems in life, incarnated here. The problems that "Andrew" has, which are the family, which are my Nirvana Hot Dog stand here whatever you want to call it and if I sort of blend into it, then I condense, you see. On the contrary, I sidestep it. And I look at this "Andrew" the one that receives the bills, the one that has to telephone, the one that has to cut his whiskers and all that sort of thing that manifestation in which I partially live most of the time (not at night, but at least in the daytime) is having logistic problems; then he is having emotional problems. He has emotional problems that his mind invents and that his emotions respond to. For instance, I have not talked to my daughter in supposedly three days. (Never happens, but, three days.) And then, my mind says "Well, she might not be there. She might have had an accident. You were not always home, she could not reach you." This is what happens there. The emotions jump all around the place, then I take the telephone; I find her and I'm bawled out. She'll say: "What's the matter with you? You're getting senile, Daddy. Always imagining things."
OK, OK. That's fine.
I see this happening to "Andrew." And I'm standing by the side, and I say, "Well, OK. So this is the way it works. This is the sort of phenomenology that he has. He has developed in this way etcetera." So we must all step aside. Because, until we have been able to digest all the karmic effects that we have produced, we shall always be identifying ourselves with this "Andrew," the "Mary," the "George," the whoever. The fact of my having a daughter and having a grandson; the fact of me being the way that I am, where I am, doing what I am: all this is karmic.
Karmic, not in the fatalistic sense of the Hindus: this is just ordinary cause and effect process. If I throw a ball against the wall with all my power, I perfectly might be able to receive it in the face with the same strength. But if I just chuck it and it'll fall down here. Brahma and nobody's involved in the affair. It is just a very simple case. I wanted the child, I had the child. She grew. She had a child. The child will want to marry, he will have children. Well, OK. I sit there and I say "OK." But let us step aside. And if poor "Andrew" suffers, it cannot be avoided. He is made in a way that his emotions will react. You see? And then it has been already quite a long time with me that whatever happened to me, I had this vision of a very old man, sitting right there in front of me, totally unemotional, looking at me, saying: "Well, you have to cry. This is part of what you have come by. Now what do you want to do about it?" Cry. Or, "You're happy? For what it lasts, enjoy it." See?
There's always sidestepping. Because otherwise we get identified. Now, the identification with our problems is creating difficulties, because it creates the clouds through which the cosmic impersonal love, or light, does not reach us.
On the other hand, it is hypocrisy to say: "Oh, I don't care. I will not suffer." You will suffer. It's part of the incarnation. If it were not, the fact that I slam a hammer on your toe, you shouldn't suffer. Well, you damn well will! Because you live in the machine. Just as if I hit with a hammer your motorcar, I'll dent it. And that's one of your vehicles. You move around with it. You move around with it much faster than you do with your physical body. It should be more you than yourself. Because, really, it is a part which you need every day.
Let's not be hypocritical about it. Just be aware. Be aware of those who have not created themselves problems; who still are young, had better watch out for this. You still are young. You are not married; you have no children. So whatever steps you take are good. On condition: that when you start something, you are aware. And being aware, at a state of reverence, and simplicity, and truth, you will instantaneously see all the ramifications, all the branches of that tree. Then, if you take a decision, take a decision. But don't start telling yourself later, "Well, it really is bad luck, because to so-and-so it never happened." Everything happens in a different way to people, because they are all different.
We must come to awareness, but we NOW must try to sidestep our daily experiences, in order that at least the superior part of ourselves should be able to do away with the clouds. There should be a point where we say "This is very unfortunate. I have worked six months to have this business function, and for reasons that I might understand, or that I am trying to understand, it did not. OK. I have lost my time and my money, which is more time." I can now act like a human, get in a hell of a rage or do this or do that, or cry or mope or bug everybody, or I can look from a certain level and say, "Well, this entity, this good old 'Andrew,' committed errors. At his level, there was not much to see, so he didn't see it. He didn't do this, he didn't do that; and he did that and the other," but then you did not create clouds. But he the "Andrew" will have his clouds. But he is at a low level; he is at the level of manifestation. You see what I mean by that?
Everything is a razor's edge at our level of work, now. So, if you do not do that, then you identify yourselves with the problems; you create the cloud of preoccupation it's like going out on a sunlit day with a big black umbrella. You get nothing. Don't expect to get a tan.
Question? Obviously this is very clear, what you're saying. And obviously for me, quite to the point. Is there a methodology?
Methodology is awareness. At this point there is none. Because you see, you cannot pretend: just for philosophy's sake, or because you are on the Path, or you follow one guru or another, that you will not feel the pain, whether it be it physical, mental or astral. Why? Because as you are living in the entity, it is like pretending that you didn't hear or feel that a car hit you. If you're not insured, you might run away, but you don't tell yourself: "What happened? I don't know." NO! Because it is your vehicle. Now the vehicle is constructed that way, because it is the only way which it can react at our density. It must feel pain, because otherwise you could put your hand on the stove and suddenly find yourself with no hand at all. So that's why we have these reactions: to save the vehicle.
At the beginning of the creation of the vehicles, that was more than sufficient. But we have created so many ties with the emotions that we constantly suffer not from being hit or burned or pricked, but our astral being burned or pricked or hit. you see what I mean?
I'm beginning to think that the suffering becomes greater by virtue of the greater awareness. Perhaps that is a method, also, of a learning process, just as it is with a small child who touches something that's very hot.
It is a learning process. But by now, we should be capable of dividing the situation in two. I am in this manifestation, because I have committed sufficient actions good and bad to be incarnated in this thing, which is constructed in this and this and this other way, and therefore reacts. The satisfaction that this incarnation wanted has brought me to commit a, lot of actions, which now are being paid ... ah, came to fruition, good or bad. So if you don't step aside and look at this, you will never be able to have a state of consciousness which is sufficiently clear to receive the high vibrations, leaving your vehicle of manifestation having his problems or solving them or being happy or being caressed instead of being beaten. This is the only way that you will wear out your karma without creating another one and finally you will remain at a high state of consciousness, in peace age helping, because age helps. Many things which we loved when we were young just bore us stiff; we don't want to do them.
Finally you get rid of a lot of things automatically. But only you must consider that the quantity of energy that you are bringing up through the sexual processes are making the effort more difficult. But, on the other hand, there is no way: it is as if you had received an enormous fortune. The consequences would be much more complications with the taxes, with the accountants, with everything. It's part of what they call "the name of the game." You're bound to have it, you see. So, instead of being impotent; not looking at women anymore at all, not giving a damn, being quiet and serene, smoking your pipe or whatever and eating some food, you still have all this power, which is building, building new bodies, which each want to manifest themselves. And you've got to be able not to just drive an old donkey, but you've got a four-in-hand, and you've got to keep them all in line.
I wanted to say that, um, especially the last couple of months, I've noticed this starting to happen in my life. Small situations arising, or material things being lost or broken, or whatever, I find myself immediately aware of "Wait a minute, what's attached to that thing or that situation?"
Well, that's it. OK. Awareness! Awareness.
And I find myself, when that happens, I'm immediately in a much clearer state of mind. It just happens automatically.
Immediately, immediately, because you sidestep the situation, you see? When you get that hit, you sidestep it; it passes. That's Aikido. You see what happens: when you bought a thing that you like right? we have all these options. "What a fool! Why did he do or she do that? The child ... psshh! What a pain in the neck" All you can say is: "Well, the object is broken. Can it be repaired? It cannot. Well, OK." Is it part of me? Yes! It has become that vase has become a part of my astral body, you see? Well, it's busted; it'll have to heal. There's no other way we can do this. We must do away with the clouds, the resentment, etcetera. Go ahead....
Something I noticed don't know if it's a methodology, but it kinda triggers the awareness for me is when I get in a situation where I kinda feel I caught a heaviness or a pressure from the situation, that wait kinda triggers an awareness a lot of times to this wait is here, what is it, am I ...?
This is the result of inner growth the result. You have been working quite a while; it is the result of inner growth. We create, through inner growth, the same response to our situations, bringing in awareness, as we do through our physical growth through childhood, create responses to situations which we didn't have before. You see? Now, for instance, if I lean upon this and this falls, if I'm two years old, I'll probably fall with it. But now, as soon as I see it's getting me out balance, I'm moving out of the way. This is a response that has come through practical banging on our nose and toes. So it's exactly the same process. Through spiritual growth, you become much more aware. you have reactions which are constructive, and therefore you do away with a lot of useless pain. But we cannot avoid REAL pain, because it is part of the instrument in which we live.
If all of us here at a given moment would expand their atomic structure to the point where we would not be what we are, but would become entities where we would not be bothered by the sun bouncing back and being in the eyes of others, we would not change our mentality, we would not change our loves, our affections, or anything. They'd be the same. Only, of course, we would be seeing like in this picture, two levels simultaneously. The grass seen from my eyes and the next, which would be the astral world. Therefore, we would not suffer at all if somebody that we have lost would die, because we would be there in the other level, and we wouldn't care what happens here, because we don't have to eat, we don't have to sleep, we don't have to heat ourselves, nor to dress ourselves because, of course, the clothes would just fall off on the floor. This is what I mean.
Meanwhile, we are growing towards the situation of this strange change, this transmutation of everything.
Hold tight to this idea. I must be aware of the pains and pleasures I have. I can no more say "I have no pleasure" than I can say "I have no pain." They're tied together. They are the black and white, I mean they're the shadow and the light.
It is no use not to want to have pleasure, because of attachment. It's exactly the same thing. Be aware. Enjoy what you're doing. Try to avoid suffering by sidestepping, saying "This is what is happening." Why? All this in order to avoid the clouds. Yes?
I'm not sure I quite understand. You're saying that we leave the vehicle somewhat in peace. The karmic vehicle. And then you say we have to create another vehicle the one that can participate in that awareness. Is that vehicle the astral? Or ...?
No, no, no, no. Awareness: you can have it right now. Be aware! With your vehicle, your reason and everything, you're perfectly aware. When something happens, be aware that it is happening to your physical body, your emotions and your mind. But that you are beyond that, therefore, watch it! Avoid suffering where you can, but be aware of what's happening. Because if you do not guard/keep this awareness at your highest level, you will then create these filters which will not allow you to co-vibrate with what you are trying to build up here.
Is the awareness like a second vehicle, though, or no?
It's not a question of vehicles. Awareness is the result of your mind. That is: you are living at a high state of consciousness, which permits you to be aware. And you are working on the physical/emotional level in the hope that it will finally purify itself and start co-vibrating with the high level at which you are constantly trying to maintain yourself. This is why I am insisting! You can only maintain yourself at that level of awareness by dividing your attention. One to that level, where you know that nothing can ever happen there, and the other by looking at what's happening to the vehicle. If you do not do that, then you immediately fall at the level of the vehicle, try to solve the problems there at the level of the vehicle and not receive during that time any of the superior type of energies. Yes?
I berate myself for not being at that level of light.
You can be; you can be! It's only a question of thinking it.
... creating even a greater cycle of the same situation by berating myself. For being in that situation, I berate myself for creating a worse cycle.
What's the value of the word, "berate"? What does it exactly mean?
Ah, "belittle." Well you mustn't be judgmental. You must consider that you missed doing, therefore climb back to it as soon as you can. The more you do it, the more practical you will become. "Practical" in the sense "practice makes perfect." You will become in this sort of "feat." It is because you are you and anybody else is tied up with the phenomenology that you cannot do it. We only remember at the time of meditation, or coming to class, or whatever. The point is that we must keep that awareness; and the tongue at the palate is an excellent reminder. Because you can't tale. Just keep the tongue at the point of your palate [does so] here! here! It's no problem.
Every time you have to talk, you say, "Hey! I'm unsticking it. What am I going to say? Is it important?" If you have something important to say, by all means, say it. If it's just going to be small talk, "blah, blah" and nonsense, why throw away energy? Is it only to show somebody else that you've got something intelligent to say? This is the whole game, you know. People are dying to say a joke at a party, because that gives them a little bit of their ... they stand out. It's like having a car with a very special body. People ask you things; you're different!
As long as we play that game, we might have a very, very nice casket with polka dots. It certainly will be outstanding! Well, that's the line. It's the same line. This little game is not eternal. So we've got to get this going so that it doesn't happen.
So, that's it.
OK. I would like you to add one little detail now. I would like you NOT to think that I know what I'm talking about, what I'm giving you the exercises. The reason for which I'm giving you the exercises piece by piece, is because they are going to be very complicated, and therefore, if we do not get used to some movement, which becomes automatic, where we have to add something, then there will be no problem. But if I give you the whole exercise complete from beginning to end, all of a shot, you will just try to remember, you'll see your notes, they were not clear, and BANG! the whole thing dies. OK?
All you have to do now .... First of all, tell me, did you have any difficulty in this recycling? Who has had difficulty, please? Don't tell me we are such geniuses all of us. Yes?
I find the rhythm difficult. The stopping. I find that I take too deep a breath before I get to the kidneys. I've got to take an extra breath.
I understand. An extra breath, no, no. It's a question of practice, you see? When you bring down your eyes, which makes it easier once the tongue is curled, the difficulty is to keep it in line. Keep your visualization in line. Your feeling, you see. It starts from there. It goes there, it comes up at the spinal column. At the kidneys you stop. This is the difficulty in the beginning. So you go [demonstrates breath] that's all.
Do this six times, nine times, as you feel you are better off. Don't forget that it is highly advisable to do it at the second part of the day. Not the first. NOT in the morning.
Is that why we're getting ... or I'm getting so horny?
Well you'll get horny just the same.[laughter] I'm sorry: I can't console you. You've got to get used to the damn thing. Do it now in the evening. And in the morning, all you have to do is to be serene, and do breathing exercises. Ordinary breathing exercises, which is called 'fanning the light.'
All you have to do is you take your breathing exercises yoga-wise: bang, bang, bang [breathes] bang bang bang. Keep your attention on the third eye during these six or seven or nine or twelve exercises of breathing. KNOW that these breaths bring energy which will go to the sexual organs. And at night night! Four o'clock in the afternoon; three, two; after one, then do these six other ones. Yes?
Last week you told me that the Tiger and Dragon should be done before noon.
No. The Tiger and Dragon? I must have been very mistaken. Wait a minute ... it starts... the energy fields begin around ... five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten ... at noon. No, it is better to do it in the afternoon.
Because you told me last week to do it always before twelve noon.
No. It is better to do it afterwards. I have had better results at four three or four. It is better.
Andrew? How about before sleep?
It's OK, but before sleep you're entering into a totally negative state of ... but if you did it all day long, at least you'll get used to it. So come on.
The breathing exercises you just described?
Meaning rather more specifically, if you don't mind. I'm not sure what you mean.
The abdomen; the middle lungs, the high lungs and shhhh, the same way.
Breathe in stages.
Breathe in and out. Yes. But while you do it, keep your attention on the pineal gland. And know that these exercises will bring energy to the sexual organs.
And and and after the Tiger and the Dragon, is it necessary to go through all the mantrums to the third eye?
Just go straight up to the third eye.
Do the exercises; these are specific exercises. I'm going to add one thing tonight. Squeeze, when you start the exercise, squeeze yoga fashion. Because this will give you the possibility of a constant activity of the organs. Otherwise, I fear that the lack of use of the prostate gland and of the muscles of the organs of procreation in the ladies, will create a lack of use. Well, it is better to use them. This is what I have found for myself.
Those who are in [maithuna] kundalini, go right ahead. Keep the kundalini. Periodically, when you feel like it, do these exercises. Those who are ALONE, who have no companions, then do the exercise of the Tiger and Dragon. you see what I mean?
Supposing you have your companion on Monday, and she is willing and happy to be with you, all right. Then, Tuesday she doesn't want to: do the Tiger and Dragon.
I've found the Tiger and Dragon helps gain more control over the kundalini process.
If it does that to you, OK. They are similar processes. They are similar processes. The kundalini is directly through the chakrahs. This goes to the chakrahs, but through another system. All create a high sexual tension, that we shall soon have to direct in different levels in order to create the other bodies. That's all that we can say.
It's better to do it in the afternoon after one o'clock, especially but that also changes with the seasons. Because, as you know, the sun will be up at seven later on, and them displace the whole schedule two or three hours more.
Andrew? I found, of course, I've always been doing the contraction anyway. And I find without the contraction the breathing is labored. With the contraction, the breathing goes by itself.
Well, fine. This is an art, I told you. It's not a question of mechanics, so adapt these techniques according to your better judgment. What it does to you. Yes?
I was under the impression before that we were supposed to do it just periodically.
Periodically if you have kundalini. But if you do not do maithuna (or kundalini) then do it constantly. If your husband is tired Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, well [tape side ends]
The constant exercises will come very much later maybe in five or six or ten years for you. I don't know. This is the final going out.
Those who have a companion, carry on with the kundalini maithuna; when they are alone or on a trip, do the Tiger and Dragon. Nevertheless, if they can do a Tiger and Dragon in the afternoon, though they have kundalini in the evening, they will at least keep this thing revolving, which is important for us, because that's how you create the new organs.
One thing, Andrew, which I've seen, by absolute way of verification: the more one gets into this work, when there is a slip (so-called)at least for me, as a manthe sense of depletion, the physical feeling of being drained is incredible. I can only liken it to a smoker, who can be in a smoke-filled room and not be affected; but a healthy non-smoker goes into a smoke-filled room and gets sick. That a conventional orgasm is REALLY like someone stuck a sieve into my vital essence and drained. It's incredible!
The point is, you are right there, but you see everybody will not be with you. Why? Because most people have orgasms very regularly. At least two or three times a week. Therefore they don't feel that. While you are doing it in such a complete, precise way that you DO feel the difference. That's right. You see what I mean. But if you do listen to this, and live normally, having orgasms, well then what's the difference, really? The difference is very small. You won't even feel it.
It is necessary to see that if we really want to have a long, healthy life; if we really want to go beyond the limitations of the human condition of existence, we have to apply these principles. People who do not believe it should go to the Bodhi Tree [bookstore] and read twelve books or ten books of different cultures. Serious books. You will always find this: everything which is Buddhism will say: "Stop that." Everything which is Taoism Taoism is frantic about it.
Everything points to: at a certain moment of your life you've got to stop doing it!.
Though it is absolutely absurd, and the tendency of people is the older they get and the more difficult it is, they are looking for medicines and they are looking for kicks; they are looking for everything which is possible to keep this poor organ at attention, you see? [laughter] With the well-known results! And every time they do it by some Chinese mixture, which you can by in Chinatown or whatever they can manage a half-erection, then they lose their energy (they are very happy with it), but next time it's gonna be much more difficult. Finally, they give it up. And they just get the satisfaction of bragging with their friends. But it is finished.
Andrew, before Swamiji left for India, he was discussing how much his meetings with you over the past three years have helped confirm his theories and helped him perfect his own theories.
I am happy I've been useful to my brother.
What he said though, is he now recommends for men vasectomies, Because he says they do not cut vital meridians, and even though men can still ejaculate, that the loss of vital essence with a vasectomy is much less, and that the build-up in the sacrum makes it much easier for the subtle essence to become kundalini to move upwards.
That is an opinion of a very wise man. Which I cannot follow, because I do not know. I am generally allergic to anything which cuts things. [Laughter] So, that's all I can say. But I know his wisdom; I know what he says MUST be true, but I'll just keep the doctor away with as many apples as I can. But this is my limitation, you see? They cut my tonsils. And they cut everything around them, which was not supposed to be cut, and I remained six months without being able to eat anything. So the infallibility of surgery is not my cup of tea.
You also told me about three years ago, that when a person becomes a parent, that there is even though it's a beautiful form of service that there is a definite loss of energy because there is a taking away of some of the etheric body. You mentioned something to me about that.
When we become a parent, you see, we plant one of the greatest coconut trees that you can imagine. So, the consequences of that are infinite in themselves. Because the ramification never stops. So unless you've finally come to a point of liberation, as I've told you, then you sanctify the whole process. But for the time being, it is a problem always, because of the fears, because of the efforts, because of the preoccupation, because of the focalization on the child. This cannot be avoided. Loss of energy: colossal. An enormous amount. Why do you think there is celibacy in monasteries and all this? They don't want to get into any problems. But that would be great if they had finished their experience in another life. But most of them don't even know where they were in another life. So they are just stopping all the possible learning processes and they will go on being monks without any time in sight for liberation most of them. There are no general rules.
Now, please add the squeeze to the entry into the coccyx.
I would like, also, to mention I would like to do it in the meditation not to give you a technical meditation but try to create a state of comprehension that we are not alone. This sensation, this feeling of our culture, that we are alone, though we are loved by people, that we are cared for by people, we have not a long time ago lived a life more or less identical to this one, therefore we have given love and received it: we are not alone. But, we have decided that the world is what we perceive of it. Therefore, we are alone. We even communicate through symbols, so we are alone. Well, this state of loneliness has created a fear. And the fear has generated for survival's sake arrogance. Ignorant, blind and deaf to the cosmos, we are arrogant which is a form of stupidity, obviously and therefore, we can survive through our arrogance and aggressively. This is OK at the jungle level, but we are out of the jungle level. We have means of protection that the jungle level hasn't got; we have means of communications, we are growing out: now we can go and say "What can I give to the world?" instead of "What can I GRAB for myself?" We are changing our part of the species.
Therefore, I would like in the meditation room for you to relax not your physical body, which, of course, now you relax, and the astral body, which you keep quiet but relax the mental attitude that we all have. This mental attitude of MY self, MY capacity, MY efforts. Just let go. Let go; I will try to transmit a bit of humility, if it is possible, and a little bit of sweet music, etcetera, and try to climb and get into a state where we can feel a sense of community with all these beings who are above us in our scale of development. Underneath, we have a lot of things underneath. Not so many, because, my God, we are very, very near the apes, and we are above little animals and then there are of course insects and things. But above there, my God!, there is an endless chain. Try to enter into this humble state of mind, which is not belittling ourselves, but just opening up. When a child opens his arms for his mother, he doesn't feel that he is inferior. He just opens his arms to give and receive love. This I would like to try tonight, instead of a technical meditation.
Mantrums: Om - Ah - Hum
We shall leave the saliva process now, because you do it with the other exercises. So now that the habit has been taken by you, that it's not a difficulty, just keep the habit of the tongue curled, as often as you can. Be aware. And let us, as usual bring up the energy through the mantrums and the chakrahs.
Mantrums: Ssss - Unnn - Oooo - Ahhh - Hung - Eeee
We can now go above the rational level. Above Reason. Above its discussions; above its doubts, its limitations. And, let us enter into this state which I call the State of Reverence. Which is not a reasonable situation. It is a mystical state. An effort, through reverence and love, for all forms of life, to unite with the higher consciousnesses. Those same mature beings that have freed themselves of the human form; and those who never will possess the human form.
With reverence, we receive the light from the cosmic love bank. This cosmic life and love which we call Light. In reverence, without our eyes, we receive it, because we have eliminated the filters. This state of reverence, when it is sent out, with your heart chakrah, with no oppositions or filters, opens the doors, permits you to blend with all the consciousnesses of the cosmos.
Above all the visions, dualities, oppositions. Cosmic love enters into all the forms of life, without opposition. With the love of a mother for her child and the child for the mother. With no filters. It is at this point that we can bring our consciousness up at the Lotus of a Thousand Petals at the sahasara. Here that we have overcome all the difficulties, all oppositions, through impersonal., cosmic love.
It is not a love of hypocrites. It is not pretending to love Humanity which we cannot do. But we can, in reverence, feel that wave of compassion for all beings manifested. For they are tied up in the prison of their manifestation, and only if we can go beyond, and enter into a cosmic state of impersonal reverent love, can we finally call upon those who love us for many there are around us that we refuse to see, refuse to feel. Through arrogance, fear, pettiness, we close the door to the love from above. The love from above has no difficulty. There are no limitations; there are no desires of possessions. There is no fear; there is no pain. There is pure joy. For us the words "pure joy" are totally meaningless, for we never have it.
So, therefore, let us enter in reverence and compassion. Compassion for all forms of being and ourselves. We are loved by some; have been loved by many. Let us open our hearts. Let us lift our consciousness from above the mind into the symbol of the Lotus of a Thousand Petals which is the white flower, who in the night, is born and comes up through the murky waters, and appears in the light of dawn. This is our dawn. Just try.
Make that slight effort without an effort. Of abandoning the human arrogance, the human limitation, and see how you can receive the love of those who loved you in other times. It is not because you don't see them that they are not present. We mix up in our poor minds and thoughts, God knows what scenery, imagining. Don't.
This is to be done with your heart. With reverence and respect for those who have just made a few steps beyond ours, and who extend their hearts and arms. We are not alone. Let us remain a few instants in a meditation that will help us, with a few notes, to lift our consciousness beyond the limitations of a dying personality.
[Music: bells & choir]
Above us are limitless levels of love and light. A conceptual garden would be only a projection of our limited mind; and would stop our ascension. It is an infinite way, with no limit in sight, except that of our comprehension.
If we lift our consciousness, and ask from the light from above to give us more capacity to extend, the concepts of God that we have in our blood will extend to an infinite power into which we shall be able to blend and carry on with our experiences. For there is no limit to the consciousnesses in the cosmos.
Open the doors that a concept would keep closed, and in reverence, in love, in the security that we can do it, let us enter into the highest state we can achieve, and remain in light, focused upon our highest states.
One might ask me: "Why, if I need help from those who love me, do I not remember? From other consciousnesses in light? Why not then ask for help from God?"
The answer is: 'God' is our concept human. We limit all power all power that has to come from above power of love, power of light by creating a concept made with human materials, human thoughts and, alas, human values. This is why for years, I never mention God's name, leaving the students to grow above the concepts and burst out into this cosmic light, beyond all condensations. Because then and only then will the road appear limitless. And no words will be looked for to define it.
This kind of meditation I would like you to repeat in your own home, with your own heart; with your own hopes; with opening up to light.
No one can teach you how to love. Love the best way you can. For greater is the cup of love that you offer, the more it will be filled to the brim. The more you forget that you exist as a human being, the easier it will be.
Let us now send from this level of cosmic love, the blessing to the valley, the valley without any possibility of security in what we do. Send out the light, and those who are mature will answer. So, to the four cardinal points:
To the North and to the South;
To the East and to the West;
To the spirits of light among us;
And the spirits below:
We send out our reverent love and compassion.
May all beings be happy;
May all beings be serene;
May all beings be in peace.
The Temple of Esoteric Science
Andrew Da Passano, Instructor
Monday Evening Class, August 6th 1984
Transcribed from audio by Hart Williams
on November 19th, 1993
Andrew Da Passano, Instructor
Monday Evening Class, August 6th 1984
Transcribed from audio by Hart Williams
on November 19th, 1993